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Frequently asked questions

Know your worth

As a parent, you’re one of the most important people in your child’s life. Sometimes the non-birthing parent feels like they are not as important. Rest assured, you are a pillar of your child’s development—a positive relationship with you provides your child a sense of physical and emotional security. For example, children who have involved fathers, regardless if their parents are in a relationship or not, do better in school, make more money, and have healthier romantic relationships than those who do not.

There’s no way to be a perfect parent, but there are endless ways to be a good one.

Having a child is a big change, so it is normal to feel stressed or confused. There is no parenting manual, so everyone makes mistakes. What's important is how you deal with your mistakes—acknowledge them to yourself and your child, and then move forward with a plan to do better next time. And remember, it is ok to ask for help.

What are you carrying and who else is carrying it?

It is not your fault if you experienced racism, a difficult childhood, or other traumas. What you can control is how you respond to those things. If you do not address this hurt, it can affect your body, your mind, and your child’s well-being. Talking to someone can help you make sense of negative emotions and change unhealthy thought patterns. Admitting you need help is not a weakness—you are taking back the control in your life and that is a very powerful thing.

Build your village

Being a parent can feel overwhelming at times. It helps to talk to others who are going through the same thing. Building a network of other parents is a great way to get advice or just have people to talk to who know what you’re going through. Building this support will not only help you, it will help others, too. A lot of people suffer in silence—it takes all of us to stand up and make it ok to talk about it.

Schedule 'me time'

Kids thrive on routines--so do their grown ups! Try to find one hour or even a few minutes in your day to do something for yourself. If you have a partner, create a schedule together that includes time for both of you. That could be taking a walk, nap, or bath or having dinner with a friend. Whatever it is, if you plan for these breaks, you are more likely to take them. You and your family will be glad you did.

Get to know yourself again

What did you like to do before you had kids? Did you have a hobby that you don't have time for anymore? Schedule time to revisit that hobby. You can even find a way to share it with your child. Both of you will enjoy the opportunity to connect over something you love and your child will benefit from knowing that there is more to you than being a parent.


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